A Different Kind of Fatherhood Book
(HKR-05-06-25): On a recent Hard Knock Radio episode, host Davey D spoke with Shawn Taylor. Taylor is an educator, writer, and Afrofuturist thinker. They discussed his new book, The Alphabet for New and Expecting Fathers. Taylor, a longtime cultural critic and community builder, described the book as something he wished had been available. He wanted it when he became a father.
“I read everything I could when my wife and I were expecting. None of it applied to me,” Taylor said. “They were written from perspectives that didn’t reflect my experience—culturally, financially, or emotionally.” That gap inspired him to write something real, rooted in his truth, and accessible to people who often don’t see themselves in parenting books.
Breaking the Cycle of Harm
Taylor spoke openly about growing up in an abusive household and how those early experiences shaped his approach to fatherhood. “I met my dad maybe seven times. The last time, we got into a fistfight,” he revealed. “I didn’t want my parenting to be rooted in violence like that.”
Instead, he’s committed to being what he never had: a loving, emotionally present parent. “There’s a huge difference between being a father and being a dad,” he said. “Being a dad requires presence and vulnerability.”
Parenting Beyond Fear
Shawn Taylor explained a key moment in the interview. He described how many Black parents often parented from a place of fear. This is especially true for those raised in the South. They often used fear as a form of protection. “Our parents raised us from their fear, not for our future,” he explained. That fear, Taylor said, often manifests as rigid discipline, control, and the suppression of creativity.
“I don’t want my daughter to inherit my trauma or my lens,” he said. “I want her to see the world through her own eyes, not mine.”
Letting Children Learn Through Failure
Taylor also pushed back on the modern tendency toward over-parenting. “Failure is one of the most useful tools a child can have—not as a habit, but as a teacher,” he said. He spoke about the harm in never allowing kids to stumble, noting that risk-aversion is the byproduct of micromanaged childhoods.
“My philosophy is this: You’re in control, but I’m in charge,” he said. “I give you a sandbox to play in, but there are boundaries.”
The Silent Struggles of Fathers
The conversation turned toward the emotional cost of parenting, especially for fathers. “I’ve never felt as lonely as I did during the first five years of my daughter’s life,” Taylor admitted. He pointed out the lack of community for fathers. “We don’t have dad groups. There’s mommy and baby yoga, mommy and baby everything—but not much for us.”
He called for intentional community-building, encouraging men to support each other in more vulnerable ways. “Be a soft place to land for another man,” he said. “That’s where healing starts.”
Redefining Strength and Responsibility
Taylor also challenged common media narratives around fatherhood, especially the way masculinity and success are portrayed. “Why are we letting pop culture define what fatherhood should be?” he asked. “I want my daughter to be my receipt for a life well lived.”
He stressed that being a father isn’t about dominance or performance, but about commitment and care. “I’m rigid in one thing: I’m an unconditional caregiver. But in everything else, I have to be flexible. Our kids change every day. So should we.”
A Blueprint Rooted in Love
Taylor’s book and the conversation around it are not just about parenting—they’re about liberation. Liberation from fear and toxic models of manhood. Liberation through love.
The Alphabet for New and Expecting Fathers isn’t just a guide. It’s a manifesto for a more humane form of fatherhood. It promotes emotionally intelligent parenting.
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